Sunday, January 18, 2015

The What's, When's, and Why's of Letting Go

This week I was a little stumped as to what to write about.  For me, one of the things I am focusing on this year is sitting down to write, at least once a week.  Sometimes the words flow easily and I sit for an hour or two.  Other times, the words don't come, but I persevere and struggle with my Muse for two hours or more.  I have decided that, when I get stumped, I'm going to ask for help, which is how we got here.  (I also got a request for writing about some astrological stuff going on and I'm going to write about that, too, after a little research!)

We have all heard the Christian saying, "Let go and let God," but what does that really mean and is it relevant to pagans?  I believe it is.  First, what is letting go?  Is it giving up?  Is it moving past? Is it no longer trying to control something or a situation?  Is it acceptance?  Is it a state of mind or is there a physical sensation that goes along with it?

Pick up the nearest object to you and hold it in your hand, be it a writing utensil, a stick of incense, a piece of change.  Feel that thing in your hand.  Note its weight, texture, temperature, and any other physical attributes that it may have.  Now, turn your palm sideways and let it go.  Let it drop to the ground.  Did you feel that?  If not, pick the object up and do it again, let it go.  Notice the sensation in your hand as you open it.  There is a physical sensation that goes with letting go.

I was privileged enough to watch a very wise man talk about letting go once.  Gary did that exact exercise and dropped a quarter on the table.  It took me dropping many quarters to understand that physical sensation, but it is there.  As I have matured, I have come to know letting go as a form of acceptance.

I don't see letting go as giving up or moving past.  I understand letting go as seeing through illusions that are cast and seeing the outcome for what it is and being okay with it, whether or not my Ego likes it.  A good example is looking at a friend who consistently makes the wrong decision, despite counsel to make the right one.  At what point do I, as their friend, put my hands in the air and let them go?  Because we are friends, is it fair to me to get sucked into their crazy?  Because we are friends, am I obligated to harass them into being sensible?  Because we are friends, I don't like their decision, but they are an adult and they do have free will, so I let them go.  I accept that they need (for whatever reason) these lessons.  I accept that some part of them wants this insanity, so I stop wasting energy on them.

Maybe that's really what letting go is, the conscious decision to stop wasting energy on a person or a situation and doing so without judgment.

So, when is a good time to let go?  Obviously, that depends upon the person.  We all have different thresholds and levels for what we will put up with.  We all react differently to different situations.  The biggest difference between letting go and other forms of severing ties is the peace that surrounds letting go (at least for me it is!!)  When I let someone or thing go, it is when I have made peace with it.  That's when I know it is time.  I look at that person or thing, at their actions and reactions, and I can look at the pattern and see what lies ahead for that person, good or bad.  When I see someone hanging on to the bad, being petty and childish, going out of their way to provoke, then I know without a doubt, it's time to part ways.  When I see a person ignoring the advice they asked for (or doing the opposite), then I know it's time to let go.

Timing is always the most difficult, however, I judge it by whether or not I can say to that person, "Go in peace and love and may you reap whatever it is that you sew."  If I can say that sincerely and with love in my heart, then I have let them go.  If I say it with any negativity attached, I still have issues with it that I need to work on.

Why do we let people go?  Why do we let situations and circumstances go?  Why am I advocating letting shit go?  The short answer is: We move past that which no longer serves us.

What happens if we hang on to things?  We all know what happens.  It consumes us, much in the same way the spark from a camp fire can consume an entire forest.  "Proving" we are right, more, better, etc. is exhausting.  It lowers our vibration and we become skewed.  Our purpose on this earth becomes twisted.  Witch wars happen.  Witch wars can only happen when two people or groups of people are being petty assholes.  When one person our group bows out and decides to take the high road and not acknowledge the pettiness of the other (or alternately, laughs at the negativity thrown at them) and doesn't let it effect them, then that is letting go.  Why wouldn't we, as magical practitioners, want to let go of the negative in our lives?

So, is letting go difficult?  You're damn straight it is!  Are we, as people and groups, better for it when we do let go?  Absolutely!  So, if we are such highly spiritual beings, why is it so hard to let go?  Why is it so difficult to open that hand and leave whatever it is to the Gods?  Who wants to try that with me this year?  Just.... Let it go.

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