This writing may strike a cord with a great many of you, dear readers. If it does, you should take note because I'm probably talking about you. This writing is not meant as a judgment. It is not meant as a verbal takedown of any kind. It is not meant to be any more than a reminder. It is a reminder of who you actually are and where you actually come from. Nothing more. Nothing less.
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Since coming to the pagan community nearly a decade ago, I have noticed a huge culture change. Those who were once our teachers, people who put decades of work into their craft, are being ostracised or pushed into the background for younger, more beautiful, versions of themselves who promise enlightenment in 6 easy steps! These same people are charging their students through the nose for these 6 easy steps and in just a few months time, BAM!! You've bought enlightenment and can go on to be a guru yourself.
The problem is that enlightenment is not easy. What we, as pagans, are doing is very similar to when the Catholic Church sold Indulgences. You can't buy enlightenment, much in the same way that you can't buy forgiveness. We are creating this culture of self-important idiots with delusions of grandeur who believe that they can do as they please without regard to people or consequences. Yes, I used the word 'idiot'. I used the word idiot because it is the idiot or fool who blindly sets out toward a goal. It is the idiot who, in their own blind confidence, plows over anything and everything in their path, leaving a trail of destruction and debris, or as the tarot car suggests, walks straight off a cliff into the unknown that just might be one's own destruction.
We are, literally, seeing that in our communities today. Our teachers and Elders, the keepers of knowledge, are backing into the shadows. Many of them are shrugging their shoulders and letting people be who they are, where they are. Many are pointing out the snake oil salesmen and paying the price. Aside from human nature, why is that?
I suspect it is a combination of several things. First, we think that we can buy experiences. If someone is promising you something that will change your life, it is one of two things, either it's an exaggeration or you are going to have to work at it to change your life. I know more people than I care to count who demand these life-changing experiences. They jump from teacher to teacher, path to path, looking for that next spiritual high. The thing I have noticed is that these people always jump ship or get mad or don't have the time as soon as the studies get hard or time-consuming or super in depth.
In keeping with the 'this is not a judgment' statement, there's nothing really 'wrong' with moving from teacher to teacher. We are free to do these things as we please, however, there is a lesson to learn both the jumping around and from staying. I think they both boil down to 'what are you running from'? Facing the lesson is where the life-changing experience comes from or running to the point the lesson can no longer be ignored, that can also be life-changing.
Second, if you have to insist that you are qualified and repeatedly say fantastical things to 'prove' you are qualified to discuss a topic, then you are not qualified. Period. If you are 20 and claim to be some 10,000 year old Atlantean Fae, I'm sorry, you have just lost me. If you look me in the eye and, at 20, tell me you have the craft experience of someone twice your age, you can damn sure bet that I'm going to start asking you questions. Basic. Questions. And, you damn sure better know the answers.
Now, don't get me wrong, Therianthropy and Otherkinness are absolutely actual things. People absolutely are fae, elves, dragons, spiders, and other beings or creatures. I'd never debate that, having experienced what I have, personally. (See what I did there?? *winks*) However, if you have to announce your race to me as some kind of magical street cred, that lets me know that you pretty much don't have a clue, especially if I am a relative stranger and I haven't revealed who or what I am. If you, in any way, have to 'prove' to me that you're qualified (aside from an offer of credentials or a request for credentials) then, I know that you probably aren't. I also know that you need to feel important or needed or relevant or any number of other insecurities you might be feeling.
As a group, we also have this need to make sure that no one is left out. People like to beat their chests about how inclusive their group is. People like to brag about how the members of their group don't have to 'prove' anything or how they are so compassionate and give others second chances that they might not get otherwise. In a perfect world, this would be how things should be. This is a dangerous mindset, though.
Yes, most everyone deserves a second chance. I wholly agree with that. However, do you allow someone on the sex offenders list in your group because of the story they give you? Do you allow drug dealers, arsonists, and frauds in your group because no one else will give them a chance? If not someone who is a convicted felon, what about someone who likes to steal or lies? I certainly don't want someone who lies to me in my home!
The fact is, we all have some place where we belong. Sometimes that place is on the fringe. There is a lesson in standing on the outside and looking in. There is a lesson in standing at the edge of the group, yet not being included for whatever reason. It is not the end of the world. Sometimes, that lack of inclusion is the biggest blessing in the world! Sometimes, that lack of inclusion means that we do not have to pretend to be someone we are not. It means that we do not have to choose a mask to wear or a dance to perform to placate the people who included us.
Lastly, we live in a world where we are told that we have to be somebody. Extroverts are the best. Overachievers are the best. Leaders are the best. Excel at everything. No! This is out of balance!
Sometimes, it's the introvert who draws up the plans and then stands in the shadows watching the extrovert carrying them out who is the hero of the day. If everyone is a leader, who is there to follow? If everyone is in charge, who is there to do the work? So often in life, the work that needs to be done is the scut work. It's mucking out the hog pen. It's crawling on hands and knees to weed. It's sitting in front of Photoshop for hours on end hoping for inspiration and ending up with a blank screen. It is seventy-two interruptions as you are trying to write a blog and you really, really don't care about your sister's ratchet ass friends, but you listen anyway because that's what is needed from you at the time. That is the important work. Putting yourself and your own wants aside and giving to someone in need.
No, you don't have to be someone. You only have to be someone to the person who needs you the most. You have to be the best you.
This cult of self-importance leads most people to delusions of grandeur. Once we die and return to the elements, no one is going to remember most of us. No one is going to wax poetic about all of the work most of us did. Once the shock or trauma in the psyche of most people we know passes and we are returned to the earth, our beingness is going to begin to fade. Our realness is going to begin to fade. They won't remember what a great leader we were. They won't remember how hard we worked. They won't remember how many blogs we wrote or spells we cast or tarot readings we got right.
If we are to be remembered, we will be remembered by how much and how often we gave of ourselves. We will be remembered for the kind words to those who were in pain. We will be remembered by the compassion we gave the dying and those whom they left behind. We will be remembered by how much we lied. We will be remembered by how we disdained people and how we went out of our way to hurt them. We will be remembered, not by how relevant we wanted to be, but how relevant we actually were and how we fed and nourished the people around us.
Don't fall into the cult of self-importance. Don't convince yourself that if you just... Then you'll be loved/liked/wanted/happy/whatever. Do the right thing. Do the thing that benefits others above yourself. If you have extra, give, be, do and do it because you can. Being a selfish twat never benefitted anybody.
Brightest blessings, Friends!
River
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Since coming to the pagan community nearly a decade ago, I have noticed a huge culture change. Those who were once our teachers, people who put decades of work into their craft, are being ostracised or pushed into the background for younger, more beautiful, versions of themselves who promise enlightenment in 6 easy steps! These same people are charging their students through the nose for these 6 easy steps and in just a few months time, BAM!! You've bought enlightenment and can go on to be a guru yourself.
The problem is that enlightenment is not easy. What we, as pagans, are doing is very similar to when the Catholic Church sold Indulgences. You can't buy enlightenment, much in the same way that you can't buy forgiveness. We are creating this culture of self-important idiots with delusions of grandeur who believe that they can do as they please without regard to people or consequences. Yes, I used the word 'idiot'. I used the word idiot because it is the idiot or fool who blindly sets out toward a goal. It is the idiot who, in their own blind confidence, plows over anything and everything in their path, leaving a trail of destruction and debris, or as the tarot car suggests, walks straight off a cliff into the unknown that just might be one's own destruction.
We are, literally, seeing that in our communities today. Our teachers and Elders, the keepers of knowledge, are backing into the shadows. Many of them are shrugging their shoulders and letting people be who they are, where they are. Many are pointing out the snake oil salesmen and paying the price. Aside from human nature, why is that?
I suspect it is a combination of several things. First, we think that we can buy experiences. If someone is promising you something that will change your life, it is one of two things, either it's an exaggeration or you are going to have to work at it to change your life. I know more people than I care to count who demand these life-changing experiences. They jump from teacher to teacher, path to path, looking for that next spiritual high. The thing I have noticed is that these people always jump ship or get mad or don't have the time as soon as the studies get hard or time-consuming or super in depth.
In keeping with the 'this is not a judgment' statement, there's nothing really 'wrong' with moving from teacher to teacher. We are free to do these things as we please, however, there is a lesson to learn both the jumping around and from staying. I think they both boil down to 'what are you running from'? Facing the lesson is where the life-changing experience comes from or running to the point the lesson can no longer be ignored, that can also be life-changing.
Second, if you have to insist that you are qualified and repeatedly say fantastical things to 'prove' you are qualified to discuss a topic, then you are not qualified. Period. If you are 20 and claim to be some 10,000 year old Atlantean Fae, I'm sorry, you have just lost me. If you look me in the eye and, at 20, tell me you have the craft experience of someone twice your age, you can damn sure bet that I'm going to start asking you questions. Basic. Questions. And, you damn sure better know the answers.
Now, don't get me wrong, Therianthropy and Otherkinness are absolutely actual things. People absolutely are fae, elves, dragons, spiders, and other beings or creatures. I'd never debate that, having experienced what I have, personally. (See what I did there?? *winks*) However, if you have to announce your race to me as some kind of magical street cred, that lets me know that you pretty much don't have a clue, especially if I am a relative stranger and I haven't revealed who or what I am. If you, in any way, have to 'prove' to me that you're qualified (aside from an offer of credentials or a request for credentials) then, I know that you probably aren't. I also know that you need to feel important or needed or relevant or any number of other insecurities you might be feeling.
As a group, we also have this need to make sure that no one is left out. People like to beat their chests about how inclusive their group is. People like to brag about how the members of their group don't have to 'prove' anything or how they are so compassionate and give others second chances that they might not get otherwise. In a perfect world, this would be how things should be. This is a dangerous mindset, though.
Yes, most everyone deserves a second chance. I wholly agree with that. However, do you allow someone on the sex offenders list in your group because of the story they give you? Do you allow drug dealers, arsonists, and frauds in your group because no one else will give them a chance? If not someone who is a convicted felon, what about someone who likes to steal or lies? I certainly don't want someone who lies to me in my home!
The fact is, we all have some place where we belong. Sometimes that place is on the fringe. There is a lesson in standing on the outside and looking in. There is a lesson in standing at the edge of the group, yet not being included for whatever reason. It is not the end of the world. Sometimes, that lack of inclusion is the biggest blessing in the world! Sometimes, that lack of inclusion means that we do not have to pretend to be someone we are not. It means that we do not have to choose a mask to wear or a dance to perform to placate the people who included us.
Lastly, we live in a world where we are told that we have to be somebody. Extroverts are the best. Overachievers are the best. Leaders are the best. Excel at everything. No! This is out of balance!
Sometimes, it's the introvert who draws up the plans and then stands in the shadows watching the extrovert carrying them out who is the hero of the day. If everyone is a leader, who is there to follow? If everyone is in charge, who is there to do the work? So often in life, the work that needs to be done is the scut work. It's mucking out the hog pen. It's crawling on hands and knees to weed. It's sitting in front of Photoshop for hours on end hoping for inspiration and ending up with a blank screen. It is seventy-two interruptions as you are trying to write a blog and you really, really don't care about your sister's ratchet ass friends, but you listen anyway because that's what is needed from you at the time. That is the important work. Putting yourself and your own wants aside and giving to someone in need.
No, you don't have to be someone. You only have to be someone to the person who needs you the most. You have to be the best you.
This cult of self-importance leads most people to delusions of grandeur. Once we die and return to the elements, no one is going to remember most of us. No one is going to wax poetic about all of the work most of us did. Once the shock or trauma in the psyche of most people we know passes and we are returned to the earth, our beingness is going to begin to fade. Our realness is going to begin to fade. They won't remember what a great leader we were. They won't remember how hard we worked. They won't remember how many blogs we wrote or spells we cast or tarot readings we got right.
If we are to be remembered, we will be remembered by how much and how often we gave of ourselves. We will be remembered for the kind words to those who were in pain. We will be remembered by the compassion we gave the dying and those whom they left behind. We will be remembered by how much we lied. We will be remembered by how we disdained people and how we went out of our way to hurt them. We will be remembered, not by how relevant we wanted to be, but how relevant we actually were and how we fed and nourished the people around us.
Don't fall into the cult of self-importance. Don't convince yourself that if you just... Then you'll be loved/liked/wanted/happy/whatever. Do the right thing. Do the thing that benefits others above yourself. If you have extra, give, be, do and do it because you can. Being a selfish twat never benefitted anybody.
Brightest blessings, Friends!
River
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