Of Gods and Internet Service

We live in a world where technology is everything and electronics are everywhere. We craft new names and personas for ourselves in cyberspace. We decorate it with art and photography. We forge bonds with people, real people, half a world away and angrily bludgeon our neighbor with our words on social media. We can influence the life of someone we will never get to meet face-to-face. We can live a second, completely different life, in cyberspace than what we live in spacetime. What if the gods reside in cyberspace with us? What if Brigid actively influences a young woman's interest in smithing through ads on Facebook? What if Loki plants the seeds of chaos by kicking out certain letters in emails and thereby changing the words and the meaning of the whole sentence? What if Bast preens in adoration of the billions upon billions of websites dedicated to cat-kind? What if Gwyn ap Nudd is mortified at the seeming ability of humankind of suddenly be immortal? What if our gods are alive and, very much, well because of the internet?

Some months ago, a friend suggested this very notion to me. The gods rest beyond the physical realm. They always have. They rest within a realm of pure energy. Is the cyberspace not that very thing? Is it not a space of pure energy apart from, but not outside of, our own physical realm? Why wouldn't the gods reside there and, importantly, why couldn't they mete out justice in within cyberspace for infractions committed within cyberspace?

Let's just go with the gods influencing cyberspace. Let's say that they have taken residence up there. What could that look like?

Well, what if you spent months or years being a jerk to people who really didn't deserve it? Maybe you spent some time abusing people who didn't deserve it, using them for their money or sex. Or, maybe you lied to someone, broke their heart. The scenarios are endless. You know, Zeus is a big fucking jerk and a god of justice (among other things). How dare you out-jerk him!! SMITE! Maybe your email is hacked or your Instagram. Maybe people get to see that you aren't really a jerk, just scared or hurt or insecure. There's your karma.

Are you a control freak? (I know that I am!!) Maybe the gods remind you that nothing is within your control when your computer gets held hostage by a virus that was embedded in a link you didn't mean to click.  Dammit! Loki, stop touching things!

Don't like someone you see on social media frequently? Does their face make you want to vomit? Why not just block them? No, no, don't be salty. Don't report them to Facebook! Damn. Now, Hera, stop being petty. You don't have to like everybody. What about when one of those stupid 'copy and paste' this posts comes across your newsfeed on Facebook, except it's not one of the stupid ones, but the number to the suicide hotline and you were just about ready to give up. Osirus is reminding you that it isn't quite time.

Is it too far-fetched to believe that Thoth and Minerva and sitting at a table at the local library, laptop screen to laptop screen, staring at each other in awe of our hubris and stupidity? "Do they even know that we have, literally, given them all of human knowledge?" Thoth asks, aghast.

"The greater question is 'do they know they carry it in their hands and pockets' and why won't they use it?" Minerva responds, exasperated.

"Have we failed?" Thoth questions. "Have we failed them so utterly?"

"No," Minerva responds, "some of them are listening."

The world we know is changing and we, as a people, are changing with it. Why wouldn't our gods adapt, too? Why wouldn't they use very real and concrete ways, such as the internet, to influence our thinking? Why wouldn't they use something that this, literally, their realm within our own to their advantage to guide those who are actively seeking?

Brightest blessings, Friends. Thank you got coming along with me on this journey. We are, officially, 100 posts in as of today!
River

The Cult of Self-Importance and Delusions of Grandeur

This writing may strike a cord with a great many of you, dear readers. If it does, you should take note because I'm probably talking about you. This writing is not meant as a judgment. It is not meant as a verbal takedown of any kind. It is not meant to be any more than a reminder. It is a reminder of who you actually are and where you actually come from. Nothing more. Nothing less.

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Since coming to the pagan community nearly a decade ago, I have noticed a huge culture change. Those who were once our teachers, people who put decades of work into their craft, are being ostracised or pushed into the background for younger, more beautiful, versions of themselves who promise enlightenment in 6 easy steps! These same people are charging their students through the nose for these 6 easy steps and in just a few months time, BAM!! You've bought enlightenment and can go on to be a guru yourself.

The problem is that enlightenment is not easy. What we, as pagans, are doing is very similar to when the Catholic Church sold Indulgences. You can't buy enlightenment, much in the same way that you can't buy forgiveness. We are creating this culture of self-important idiots with delusions of grandeur who believe that they can do as they please without regard to people or consequences. Yes, I used the word 'idiot'. I used the word idiot because it is the idiot or fool who blindly sets out toward a goal. It is the idiot who, in their own blind confidence, plows over anything and everything in their path, leaving a trail of destruction and debris, or as the tarot car suggests, walks straight off a cliff into the unknown that just might be one's own destruction.

We are, literally, seeing that in our communities today. Our teachers and Elders, the keepers of knowledge, are backing into the shadows. Many of them are shrugging their shoulders and letting people be who they are, where they are. Many are pointing out the snake oil salesmen and paying the price. Aside from human nature, why is that?

I suspect it is a combination of several things. First, we think that we can buy experiences. If someone is promising you something that will change your life, it is one of two things, either it's an exaggeration or you are going to have to work at it to change your life. I know more people than I care to count who demand these life-changing experiences. They jump from teacher to teacher, path to path, looking for that next spiritual high. The thing I have noticed is that these people always jump ship or get mad or don't have the time as soon as the studies get hard or time-consuming or super in depth.

In keeping with the 'this is not a judgment' statement, there's nothing really 'wrong' with moving from teacher to teacher. We are free to do these things as we please, however, there is a lesson to learn both the jumping around and from staying. I think they both boil down to 'what are you running from'? Facing the lesson is where the life-changing experience comes from or running to the point the lesson can no longer be ignored, that can also be life-changing.

Second, if you have to insist that you are qualified and repeatedly say fantastical things to 'prove' you are qualified to discuss a topic, then you are not qualified. Period. If you are 20 and claim to be some 10,000 year old Atlantean Fae, I'm sorry, you have just lost me. If you look me in the eye and, at 20, tell me you have the craft experience of someone twice your age, you can damn sure bet that I'm going to start asking you questions. Basic. Questions. And, you damn sure better know the answers.

Now, don't get me wrong, Therianthropy and Otherkinness are absolutely actual things. People absolutely are fae, elves, dragons, spiders, and other beings or creatures. I'd never debate that, having experienced what I have, personally. (See what I did there?? *winks*) However, if you have to announce your race to me as some kind of magical street cred, that lets me know that you pretty much don't have a clue, especially if I am a relative stranger and I haven't revealed who or what I am. If you, in any way, have to 'prove' to me that you're qualified (aside from an offer of credentials or a request for credentials) then, I know that you probably aren't. I also know that you need to feel important or needed or relevant or any number of other insecurities you might be feeling.

As a group, we also have this need to make sure that no one is left out. People like to beat their chests about how inclusive their group is. People like to brag about how the members of their group don't have to 'prove' anything or how they are so compassionate and give others second chances that they might not get otherwise. In a perfect world, this would be how things should be. This is a dangerous mindset, though.

Yes, most everyone deserves a second chance. I wholly agree with that. However, do you allow someone on the sex offenders list in your group because of the story they give you? Do you allow drug dealers, arsonists, and frauds in your group because no one else will give them a chance? If not someone who is a convicted felon, what about someone who likes to steal or lies? I certainly don't want someone who lies to me in my home!

The fact is, we all have some place where we belong. Sometimes that place is on the fringe. There is a lesson in standing on the outside and looking in. There is a lesson in standing at the edge of the group, yet not being included for whatever reason. It is not the end of the world. Sometimes, that lack of inclusion is the biggest blessing in the world! Sometimes, that lack of inclusion means that we do not have to pretend to be someone we are not. It means that we do not have to choose a mask to wear or a dance to perform to placate the people who included us.

Lastly, we live in a world where we are told that we have to be somebody. Extroverts are the best. Overachievers are the best. Leaders are the best. Excel at everything. No! This is out of balance!

Sometimes, it's the introvert who draws up the plans and then stands in the shadows watching the extrovert carrying them out who is the hero of the day. If everyone is a leader, who is there to follow? If everyone is in charge, who is there to do the work? So often in life, the work that needs to be done is the scut work. It's mucking out the hog pen. It's crawling on hands and knees to weed. It's sitting in front of Photoshop for hours on end hoping for inspiration and ending up with a blank screen. It is seventy-two interruptions as you are trying to write a blog and you really, really don't care about your sister's ratchet ass friends, but you listen anyway because that's what is needed from you at the time. That is the important work. Putting yourself and your own wants aside and giving to someone in need.

No, you don't have to be someone. You only have to be someone to the person who needs you the most.  You have to be the best you.

This cult of self-importance leads most people to delusions of grandeur. Once we die and return to the elements, no one is going to remember most of us. No one is going to wax poetic about all of the work most of us did. Once the shock or trauma in the psyche of most people we know passes and we are returned to the earth, our beingness is going to begin to fade. Our realness is going to begin to fade. They won't remember what a great leader we were. They won't remember how hard we worked. They won't remember how many blogs we wrote or spells we cast or tarot readings we got right.

If we are to be remembered, we will be remembered by how much and how often we gave of ourselves. We will be remembered for the kind words to those who were in pain. We will be remembered by the compassion we gave the dying and those whom they left behind. We will be remembered by how much we lied. We will be remembered by how we disdained people and how we went out of our way to hurt them. We will be remembered, not by how relevant we wanted to be, but how relevant we actually were and how we fed and nourished the people around us.

Don't fall into the cult of self-importance. Don't convince yourself that if you just... Then you'll be loved/liked/wanted/happy/whatever. Do the right thing. Do the thing that benefits others above yourself. If you have extra, give, be, do and do it because you can. Being a selfish twat never benefitted anybody.

Brightest blessings, Friends!
River

Internet Trolls: A Lesson in Relevance

Recently, my local pagan community has been experiencing some drama, as happens when you put large groups of people together. The drama surrounds a teacher, who is a mandatory reporter, reporting some alleged abuse that was (thankfully for all involved!!) proven to be false. As happens when humans are involved there has been this huge, public, backlash because some people are less than honest and have admitted they would have looked away from the allegations using 'common sense' to determine they were false, while others of us would have just reported it as we are required by law to do and let the proper authorities investigate it and determine if anything illegal had been done.  To be fair, I do not believe that some of the people who admitted that they would have looked in the other direction have any idea what it means to be a court mandated reporter. I do not believe that they understand as a CMR one does not have a choice in the matter.  I do not believe that they understand as a CMR reporting abuse is not an option. All that said, as a mandatory reporter myself (due to my job) I publically agreed that what the teacher did was the right thing to do.

This firmly held belief in the law opened me up to an interesting internet troll. I get few of them these days. I suppose it's because I don't engage stupid or emotional well anymore. Without publically humiliating her and just posting screenshots of the attempted bullying, she dropped a lot of f-bombs (my favorite!!), told me I was irrelevant, and then told me to fuck off. I'm not sure where I was supposed to fuck off to since she was the one who messaged me, so I decided to fuck off to right here. 

What sparked my inspiration, though, was her need to invalidate my existence. She told me, a complete stranger, several times that I was irrelevant and my opinion was irrelevant. I'm not sure if that was supposed to make me feel less than or what, but the joke is on her. We are all irrelevant. We are all nothing in this grand work of the universe. All. Of. Us.

Of course, due to my training as a priestess and my inherent nature as a healer, after laughing at her statement of obviousness, I wondered why she would project something like that onto another person. I wondered just how many people had told her that in her life. I wondered just how miserable and emotional and powerless she must feel to think that it is okay to tell a literal stranger something like that.

There are people in this world who are inherently good people. They are good people who are a little too self-absorbed and emotional. They, obviously, haven't read The Four Agreements. I believe this stranger is probably one of those people. Life has wounded her to the point that to feel any kind of power or satisfaction, she thinks that she has to be a complete twat to someone she disagrees with.

Yes, I understand that her friend was hurt by the abuse accusation. I know the accused, too, but I refuse to tell the reporter that he did a bad thing. Because. He. Didn't. I hate that the accused is having to deal with this situation, but honestly, that's a whole other blog (which will happen!!)

Even as pagans, we often forget just how small we are in the grand scheme. In universal time, our three-quarters of a century lifespan isn't even a full blink of the eye. In our very human need to find significance, we will often try to extinguish the light of another if they question our status. We have come to the point of dehumanizing people and it is simply not necessary.

Aren't we supposed to be above such petty and, quite honestly, Christian things? Is it not the church who calls out anyone who questions its authority as a blasphemer? As pagans we really don't have a central authority, so we have all of these people who have read all of the 101 Craft books who think they know something. They forgot to read How to Win Friends and The Four Agreements. They forgot to read and meditate upon The Tao. They forgot to read Hawking and Kaku and they forgot to watch What The Bleep. In their hubris, they focused outward, on being 'somebody', and forgot to focus inward. They forgot about the wounded child or teen or young adult inside who screams and lashes out when something doesn't feel good. They forgot that our outward life is a direct reflection of our inward life. They forgot that because the macrocosm reflects the microcosm, anyone with eyes can see within. If your outward life is one giant pile of shit and struggle, what does that say about your inward life and why would I want to bring that energy into my life?

So, yeah, I'm totally irrelevant, but so are you and you are too blind to see it. In this great, wide multi-verse our existence is the very essence of fleeting. What legacy will you leave? Are you a brave internet troll who loves to cuss out total strangers and hope you somehow make them hurt like you are hurting? Good luck. Are you willing to say and do the hard thing because no one else will? Are you selfish and self-serving? Good luck. Do you give so much of yourself that there is nothing left for you? Do you simply do as you will regardless of the rules and when you get caught blame everyone else? Do you do nothing for fear of retaliation? Good luck with that, as well.

Relevance is a subjective thing in this world. If it gives you a sense of power to treat people the way you feel inside, then great. Do it. You can absolutely treat people the way that gives you the most power. However, when your ego puts you in a place where your belief is absolute and you think you are an authority on the relevance of another sentient being, you are simply being abusive and spreading your own, internal hurts. If you believe that it is your job to tear down another on behalf of yours or your friend's pain, then you are as much a part of the problem as the accused. Why are you not focusing your energy on helping your friend through this tough situation? Wouldn't that energy be better spent building up your friend instead of tearing someone else down?

Yes, let's talk about relevance. Let's discuss the microcosm and the macrocosm. Let's discuss how everything only exists by comparison.

Blessings, dear Friends, and next time you become so emotional that you want to lash out at a stranger, remember that that stranger may be a writer who has readers from all over the world. That writer just might use you and your words of pain as a lesson for others to learn from. Thank you random internet troll for telling me to fuck off after attacking me. As it turns out, I have a lovely place to fuck off to. And, no matter what the people in your life have told you, you matter. You matter inasmuch as any of us carbon meatbags matter on this plane of existence.