Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Just Tell the Gods Your Plans...

So many times in this life we set out toward a goal unaware of the implications it can have on our journey, unaware that it is our gods guiding us directly into our life's purpose.  Not quite two years ago now, I did this.  I had been practicing Eclectic Wicca as a solitary for about 8 years when I moved from Mississippi to Northeast Arkansas, and while I'd known there was a Wiccan church in the Jonesboro area for a while, I'd simply lived too far away to be able to join in any of its activities.

When I got to Jonesboro, I contacted the High Priest of the church.  He gave me the dates and times of their public meetings so that I could attend and meet some of the members and the clergy in a public setting.  It took me almost two months and a giant spider in my lap (one of my spirit guides is Spider) to gather up the courage to go to a meeting.  The rest, as it is often said, is history.

While still quite shy, I participated in these meetings and was drawn to their classes.  It wasn't long until the High Priestess handed me a test and told me to take it.  I did and found myself in an unlikely position, new to this church and stepping into First Degree classes.  When I began with them, I'd reconciled the fact that (as I think it should be with any new tradition) I would likely begin at the beginning and work my way through the degrees.  Finding myself in First Degree class was an honest shock, however, I was glad for the challenge.

Through the fifteen months of lessons, I heard Papa Terry say countless times, "Just tell the Gods your plans and watch them laugh!"  No truer words have ever been spoken, I do believe.

At the beginning of my classes, all I wanted was a better connection with my Gods and a better understanding of myself.  I didn't want to be "special".  I didn't want to be noticed.  I didn't want anything more than to live the magical axiom, "Know Thyself."  I told the Gods my plans and they laughed.  Not only did they laugh, but throughout my resistance, I'd get a tap on the shoulder and a "So, how's that working out for you?" from them, usually followed by some kind of hysterical laughter on their part.  Yes, the Gods have a sense of humor and it's usually at our expense.

So, I sloged along through my classes.  It was a long, hard-fought and won fifteen months full of trials for me.  In the beginning, I lamented my bad luck.  I cried out and shook my fist at the sky, angry at my Gods for putting me through these things.  At some point, though, the lessons began to take hold.  The seeming tragedies in my life transformed from, "It's not my fault." to "What is the lesson in this?"  I began to take responsibility for my part and change my perceptions.  My ego began to relinquish its hold on my thoughts and I began to feel my Gods walking with me every day.  I began to hear their words and listen to their wisdom.  I began to change from within, and these changes were difficult!  I lost a long-term relationship, a really good friend, and moved four times in as many months, but all of these life altering experiences opened my eyes (at least partially) to a bigger picture.  As with any amount of change, the tragedies seem larger than the triumphs.  In that same time, I discovered just who my friends were.  I was given a sister-hood that can not be torn apart.  I was given a life-partner complete with Hekate's sandalwood scent of approval.  I found myself surrounded by teachers, both Elders and my own contemporaries, who were always willing to give me a shoulder to cry on and then lift me up and set me back on my feet.  They never gave me the answers to my questions, but always asked the right questions to get me thinking.

These experiences didn't test my faith or my connection with my Gods, but made it stronger.  These experiences allowed me to better know myself and opened many doors which I'd believe were impossible to open.  I understand now just what Papa Terry means when he says, "Just tell the Gods your plans..."

My Gods have plans for me.  They have plans that I don't like, however, I have come to understand that acting like a petulant child and resisting those plans is tantamount to being dragged through life kicking and screaming.  Yes, I still kick and scream from time to time, and I still don't like it (and shout it from the rooftops), but I also know that in surrendering to my higher purpose and accepting it, I really don't have to like it.  I just have to do it.

1 comment:

  1. Absolutely WONDERFUL! Thank you for your insight, Lightgoddess~