Sunday, December 22, 2013

Out of the Darkness and Into the Light

Now that Yule is past and the Sun King has been reborn and the Crone has transformed back into the Maiden, the time for reflection is done.  The light has now turned back outward and it is time to begin choosing the seeds to plant in the coming spring.  What challenges were you given to overcome in this darkest part of the year?  For me, this dark period brought a bit of hibernation.  For nigh on six weeks, I didn't do much visiting.  I didn't engage in too much counsel with others.  As the solstice approached (literally, a week ago), I picked up where I left off at Samhain, with the work I was doing.  Looking back, this was a very real side effect of the magic I worked at summer's end.  This will be another blog which is a bit more personal than I usually write, it seems.

On Samhain night, I performed a widdershins ritual.  I traversed into the Underworld and laid 2 precious things at Hekate's feet, and I asked her to transform them into what She needed them to be.  Those things will not be named here because of the nature of the magic, but I will talk about some of the challenges I was forced to face in this dark time.

In regards to the first thing I gave to my Lady, my eyes have been opened to many of my own struggles with it, the acceptance of it.  I have become a creature of habit in my aging and, despite the fact that I like change sometimes, I still resist change more than I let it happen.  I know (and, honestly, have known) that this particular thing is going to transform my life in ways that I simply can not fathom.  She has now forced me to face this and see it for what it is.  It is something I both love and loathe.  It is something that I both want and don't want.  It is something that She has thrust upon my shoulders and told me that I have no choice but to carry.  So, I feel this physical weight upon my shoulders now and some days it is heavier, while some days it is lighter.  She has forced me to look at my own physical, mental, and emotional limitations and I know what I must do.

With the second thing, the Lady opened my eyes to some things which I have known, and honestly, hate.  She has removed my blinders (self-imposed, of course) and poked me in the eyes Three Stooges style.  Once again, I didn't like it, but no one likes having the obvious pointed out when they are being dumb. (And, yes, I was being dumb.)  "This no longer grows your soul," She said to me.  "Why keep holding it close to your heart?"  I gave Her some vapid excuse and BAM! Poked in the eyes. Hekate does not allow me the luxury of being dumb simply for the sake of being dumb.  It simply isn't tolerated.  So, the transformation of this thing has begun in earnest, after holding on to it for so long.  It is painful, probably moreso than the first, but that pain is my resistance to letting it go and simply letting it be what it is.

This second thing has also (and maybe more importantly) opened my eyes to the nature of my own past lives, and one in particular.  I see it playing out in this lifetime in an almost identical way as it did in that previous life.  I don't know if it is simply the nature of the soul and the lessons we carry from lifetime to lifetime, or if it is a lesson heretofore unlearned by myself and/or this other person (whom I am pretty certain hasn't remembered our time together), or if our souls are simply meant to play this out over and over again as we meet throughout the aeons.  The way these things are happening distresses me as much in this life as it did in my memory, but if things keep going as they did last time (and yes, I kept up with this person's life as best I could in my last life) then things will be better than fine for this person and I will, through my sadness, be able to smile with joy at their accomplishments, just as I did before.

The nature of the darkness tends to force us into a state of blindness.  In that blindness we have to use our other senses to overcome our fear and trepidation.  Sometimes, it takes the return of the light to show us that we were never truly blind at all.  Willful ignorance is not acceptable.  Standing still is not acceptable.  Fear is not acceptable.  So, now that the god has turned his face back to the Earth, will you allow the shadows in your life to fall behind you?  Will you muster up the courage you need to plant seeds in the spring?  That is what I plan on doing.  I plan on being courageous and walking toward the light.

Brightest Blessings, Friends!

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