The Practicals: Grounding and Shielding

I have a poll here, and have gotten 2 votes (YAY!!), both requesting to see more practical workings, so I am going to start a series called "The Practicals".  It will be geared more toward the novice to intermediate practitioner as opposed to the newest practitioners of Wicca and the Craft (meaning you should already have some working knowledge of the subject).  The Practicals will discuss briefly what the subject is, why I believe it is important for those who are relatively new (or a good refresher for us all) and then move into ways to work with it in your daily life.
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I am going to preface this with a caveat: Try these suggestions as your own risk!  They are suggestions of things that work for me as well as some that haven't!  If you find yourself trying any suggestion and it failing, remove it by doing the opposite of what you did to add it.  Please, please, use common sense! 

Grounding and shielding were two of the very first things I learned as a wee baby pagan.  I was interacting with people on the internet, one after another, chat room and message board, what I heard from Wiccans, Witches, and pagans across the spectrum, "If you can already meditate, then you must learn to ground and shield."  Since that time and coming to work with the wider community, I now understand the need for such basic practices as grounding and shielding.  Not only that, but I understand the need to teach these things.

More than once I have been to a festival or an open circle where people participating in the main ritual didn't know how to ground after the cone of power was raised and released and, for whatever reason, the HPS didn't do a few grounding chants during or after cakes and ale.  The ritual fell into total chaos, of course, because everyone was high on energy and couldn't or didn't want to let it go.  Even worse, I think, is going to a festival where there is trouble in the host group (or groups) and those emotions aren't shielded from the festival goers.  No one wants to go to a festival and feel the tension, pain, or outright hate between two people or groups of people.  Lastly, is the person or group of people at a festival or open gathering who can't or don't want to control their own energy.  (I prefer to believe that it is option one.)  These people end up being a black hole for energy and then whatever may come back out (sometimes it's no energy, other times it's all of it, just distorted) flies about in a chaotic vortex, much like blending a smoothie without the blender lid.  So, what are some options for dealing with these kinds of people or situations?

First, know your own best practices for grounding and shielding.  If you don't know what works best for you, then you can't help anyone else.  So, we will begin here with the definition of grounding and shielding.  Grounding is "releasing excess energy that has built up from ritual or other vigorous activities."  The best example of this was given to me a several years ago.  One is perfectly grounded in those first few moments after orgasm, when you don't want (or can't) to do anything but lie there and breathe.  I have had those moments after a particularly good ritual, but how do we carry those moments with us in every day life?

There are many meditations for grounding.  The most popular being the Tree Meditation.  Visualizing roots into the ground and limbs into the sky and draining away excess energy and replacing it with earth and sky energies.  Not many of us have time in the middle of our day, though, to sit for a few minutes in quiet contemplation.  So, what then?  I have found many more practical (and inconspicuous) methods through the years.  Some work better for me than others.  The first is carrying a worry stone.  It can be anything from a flat river rock to a specific type of tumbled stone (i.e hematite, for many).

Being a stone keeper, I have always been one to have a collection of rocks and stones.  The Stone People have always spoken to me (even before I was pagan and knew about these things).  Stones are, literally, bits of the earth we can carry around in our pockets or on a piece of jewelry. Those bits of earth carry the same grounding properties as the land they were born from.  When one can't 'be a tree', one can always carry a stone in his or her pocket and touch it when needed.

Another practical way to ground, is to touch a tree.  The Tree People are often happy to take excess energy from us if we offer it.  It should be noted here that if it is autumn or winter, the trees are slumbering or approaching it, so offering them an excess of energy during that time could disturb their rest.  Another option is walking barefoot on the grass, or in the winter, having an indoor plant or two that one can take care of.

Some people also benefit from the use of water as a grounding conduit.  What is better than a nice hot bath or shower after a tough day out in the world?  Water works in a couple of different ways to ground.  If you are one to take magical baths or showers, it washes away the ick of the day both literally and energetically.  Being the element of emotions, it can help to bring troubles into balance thus aiding in grounding.

Once your individual best grounding practice has been found, it will be a case of repeating it until it becomes second nature.  I have come to a point in my own practice that I can ground myself by simply pushing the energy through my own feet or crown chakras, but this has taken me a good, long time to get proficient.

Shielding, I have found, is a bit trickier.  Shielding is "energetically blocking unwanted energy or emotions which may effect us."  I find shielding to be trickier because, so often, some part of us wants to be part of the drama we find ourselves surrounded with.  It can't be blocked if we want this drama.  I also find it to be trickier because the setting of intent must be a very specific thing that must also be well thought out (i.e "What could be the consequence of this particular shield?").  With all of that said, everyone does have natural shields that they have developed just by living life and, for some, these suffice for a long time, sometimes for their whole lifetime.

Probably the most well known shielding technique is the drawing down of the white light of the universe.  In essence, one creates a 'bubble' of white light around them charged with a specific intent.  This technique doesn't work so well for me personally.  I find it to be too generic for my particular needs, but it is definitely a good place to start.

I learned shielding in a very different way from most people.  Where most people learn to shield with the white light, I learned to make specific shields with intentions and layer them on top of one another.  This is both good and bad.  It means that my own shields are very specific and may let things through that I may not want because I have not come across that particular energy or emotion yet.  It is also trying on occasion because my intent may be too broad and it blocks out otherwise good energies.  Also, these layers can be difficult to deconstruct if I need to because they have been in place for so long.

An example of a layered shield would be:

Layer one (right against the skin) is the white universal light.  It allows everything in except for the lowest of energetic vibrations.
Layer two (just on top of that) is a finely woven net of a specific color.  This shield allows the finest bits of energy to seep through so that I can feel what is going on around me and choose to let it in or not.
Layer three is a looser woven net of a specific color.  This shield allows more energy to filter through.
Layer four (the outer layer) is a bubble of some specific material (glass, a mirror, a soap bubble with a sheen, etc.).  This shield can be the most or least protective, based upon intent, but also the most tricky.

Imagine, if you will, this particular shield configuration with the outer layer being a mirror.  Mirrors reflect.  If one walks into a hostile environment (like someone at work having it out for you) with a mirror as the outer layer of a shield, things could get sticky very quickly.  If one works with someone who is inherently negative, that mirror shield is going to reflect that negativity back at that person.  What happens when our worst qualities are manifest back at us?  If we are unwilling to acknowledge those qualities, then our own negativity intensifies.  So, imagine what it must be like to be a muggle who doesn't understand energy, how it works, or what is happening when one gets back what they put out.  This kind of shield can be quite shocking and agitating.

Let's, for the sake of argument, say one did not make a mirror for an outer shield, but just a bubble of some fine material, transparent both ways.  The negativity projected could get through to the second shield, the first 'net'.  It was then filtered through to the second 'net' and then on to the white light.  What one might feel is a slight discomfort, that intuitive feeling that something is wrong.

This is, from where I sit, what shielding is supposed to do.  It allows us to set intent for the kind of energies we will and will not allow in our lives.  These shields also will protect us from surrounding ourselves with the wrong kinds of people, in general, depending upon intent.  However, shields can also draw to us those who are psychic vampires (usually these are the types who do not consciously feed on people).  They feel that energy, especially good energy, and they want to get through it, to the energy of the practitioner.

Other ways of shielding that I have found work (sometimes with a little trial and error), are charging a body wash, lotion, or oil with a specific intent and then putting it on or charging a piece of jewelry or clothing.

Some of these things work for some people and some of these things don't. When it comes to grounding and shielding, I have very specific things that I do which work for me.  Sometimes they work for others, sometimes not.  What techniques have you found to shield and ground yourself that might not be found in books or online?  What have you found that simply didn't work?  What worked best for you?

Until next time, Brightest blessings, friends!!

Never Again, the Burning Times!

When I started my search into all things Craft nearly a decade and a half ago, the phrase 'Never again the burning times' was shouted so often and by so many, I though it was a big deal.  I thought that, maybe, there was proof that millions of witches were burned by the Christians or some such tragedy against our kind.  I found out that there was no proof, but anecdotes of the numbers of witches burned.  More importantly, as it was pointed out by a beautiful and wizened friend of mine, the burning times is about blind obedience.  I say 'is' because, what if we (as a people) never actually left?

Through my years working with the community, first online and now face-to-face, I have seen many instances of title chasing and ego fluffing, which lead to blind obedience.  I have seen and experienced these things.  My Gods remind me that titles are bestowed by men.  Titles can also be taken away by those same men.  Titles lead to chains.  Chains lead to bindings.  Those bindings lead to doing what you are told to do because it's 'right'.   Titles can be sloughed off when they become too restrictive so there is no need for the trappings of doing what you are told because you are X Title.  Titles don't free us from thinking for ourselves.
They are supposed to, if we earn them properly, give us the knowledge and wisdom to make better choices when we think for ourselves.

So, if titles aren't necessary, why do we chase them?  Because, in a group structure, titles imply rank, status, and maybe, just maybe, honor, trustworthiness, and intelligence, among other things.  They have come to mean something more than what they are, a way to classify who has learned what.  I bring this up because I look at many around me who have achieved one rank or another within their particular brand of Craft and I can, sometimes, look directly through the illusions they cast and see the person behind the title.  Sometimes, it takes me a little bit longer to see, but in nearly every instance of parting those illusions, the person I have seen has been someone I didn't want to become.  Sometimes I see past those illusions and I see a person who is very much someone I would like to emulate, though.

I have seen leaders, very knowledgeable people, very dynamic people, inherently good people, with their deeds, if not their words, advocate to their students that it is okay to quit jobs for their Craft, and live on government assistance of one kind or another because it gives the student all the time in the world, then, to learn (or maybe 'fast track' their learning).  I have been the one having my ego fluffed just as long as I was doing what I was told, then, as soon as I stopped doing what I was told (or questioned it, or followed the path my own Gods set out) I was forgotten, cast aside, and no longer seemed to matter.

So, if we, as students of the Craft, are being told that we are taught how to think, not what to think, then why do we get caught up in the illusions of others?  Why do we get wrapped up in the egos of those who 'know more' or who have 'been around longer'?  Why do we, as students, allow them to tell us what our Gods have set out for us, instead of searching for ourselves?  The Burning Times has always been about blind obedience, ego, greed.  Aren't those the exact things that we, as pagans, are trying to transcend?

Now is the time for us, as individuals and as groups, to do a bit of soul searching.  As practitioners are we serving ourselves or are we serving our Gods?  Are we trying to make money?  Do we want minions or followers?  Do we, genuinely, want to see our students be the best people they can be or do we just want someone there to carry on our work?  Do we want our students to challenge us and our vision or do we want them to simply do what they are told?  When do we step out of our, predominantly, Christian way of thinking and wanting to be told what to do, and begin thinking for ourselves, doing for ourselves?

I, for one, remember The Burning Times.  I honor those who burned, Witches and Christians alike.  I refuse to obey blindly, as a cattle to slaughter, those who may or may not have my own best interests at heart.  I look to my Gods for signs.  I listen to the spirit of the trees, the rocks, my animal brethren.  Mostly, I listen to my intuition.  Once I shove my emotions to the side and quiet my own ego, it whispers with conviction the road I must take.  Do you do the same?

Brightest Blessings, Friends!

Familiars, Totems, and Guides: What's the Difference? Does it Matter?

There are vastly different schools of thought within the pagan community about animal familiars, totem animals, animal guides, or power animals and what they are, what they aren't, how many you can have, and how you get one.  Obviously, with animal guides, totems, and power animals (and yes, I use those words non-interchangeably for a reason) it will depend upon the path you or your teacher walk as to which words are used and if they are used in an interchangeable manner, among other things.  With the witch's familiar things get even more ambiguous, so we will start there.

In Medieval European folk-belief, the familiar was a spirit who would help the cunning-folk (which they tended to categorize differently from Witches) with his or her practice of magic.  Sometimes this entity would take the form of an animal while other times it might be incorporeal, according to various accounts.  However, for the sake of argument, we are going to focus on animal familiars, the most recognizable concept in most modern Wiccan traditions.

In most modern practices, the animal familiar is a helper with magic.  Traditionally, the familiar is a cat, specifically a black cat, but this is not always the case.  I have known witches and Wiccans with dogs, snakes, mice, cats, and a menagerie of other animal familiars.  In today's world, the animal familiar tends to be an animal that the practitioner has a special connection to.

In the early days of my own practice, I never put much stock into the notion of a familiar.  I had a dog, a very large, caring, and mundane canine, and I didn't see the need to have another animal.  Then, I met a stray Lab.  It was December and she was cold, hungry, and obviously in need of medical care.  (Someone had thought it would be fun to take this gentle soul and carve her up with a knife of some kind.)  So it was, I had two, rather large, blonde dogs.  Belle was a large Labrador Retriever, and I'm almost certain, not 'just' dog.

About a year after bringing her into my life, I was chosen (literally) by a tiny tabby kitten whose litter mates all had names of Greek deities.  He didn't, though.  At about six weeks old, when all of his siblings were climbing on everything and falling and being super adorable, he sat patiently at my feet, watching me, until my sister noticed him and told me to pick him up.  He perched on my shoulder and snuggled into my hair.  I was chosen and had to figure out how to introduce this little guy to my two giant dogs without them eating him.  They didn't eat him and, as a matter of fact, Belle took to him like he was her tiny little brother.  Her tiny little brother, then grew up and became her small-ish brother.  At adulthood, he was as large as a Boston Terrier, weighing in at somewhere around 25 pounds.  (That's a LOT of cat!)

 As time went on, I noticed that the two of them would come into my crafting room whenever I was working energy.  I wouldn't call them, they would just come.  Mr. Mao would sit at the edge of my circle and watch as Belle would dance and wiggle and help me raise energy.  To this day, I believe that I had a familiar and a guardian.  The latter, something that I didn't know could happen (at the time).  Even my very conservative, Christian mother commented on the strangeness of my animals, often telling me that there was 'something not right' about my cat.  He loved her, but his stares unnerved her, I think.

As for animal guides, totems, and power animals, this concept is a whole different beast (pardon the pun).  As a general rule, these labels come from shamanic backgrounds all over the world.  These creatures are purely etheric, generally, and guide us in the astral plane or Otherworlds.  Depending on your flavor of shamanic practice, the 'rules' change in regards to animal guides.

Many moons ago, when I was learning a particular brand of indigenous shamanism, I was taught that the words 'totem' and 'power animal' were synonymous, but 'animal guide' meant something different. In reality, my teacher used the word 'totem' in lieu of 'power animal', but now I don't remember why she had such an aversion (it was around 10 years ago).  So, that being the case (in my own teachings), why was there this clear delineation?

That particular line was drawn because totems had a couple of different categories and you didn't just have one.  There were familial totems and your own personal totem, which meant you could have up to 5 different animals that were with you from birth.  The familial totems were from each of the 4 branches of your family and, to my understanding, were more like guardian spirits.  They were there and, once you began your walk, they guided and protected you.  Your personal totem could be one of these animals, too, or it could be something completely different, and it works in the same way power animals do.

On top of these particular animals, you have 'animal guides'.  These are the animals you meet in the Otherworlds who are there to help you on your journey.  They may or may not manifest in the physical (as an upsurge of seeing them at odd times or experiencing odd behavior from them), but they are there to give you messages and impart omens.  These animals also only stay until it is clear whether or not you learned their particular lesson or received their message.  There is, very much, a transience to their presence.

Since that time, I have learned that there are diverse ideas of totems/power animals and how we get and keep them, but the most prolific is that we all have one and we have had it since birth, no matter how long it takes us to actually discover it.  I find this teaching just as comfortable as the many totems/guides teaching.  It's less complicated.  It's more concrete.  Everyone can identify with it, no matter how much or little they have been exposed to a shamanic path.

If you walk a shamanic path, what are your experiences?  Were you taught something completely different from what I have talked about?  Were you taught something similar?  Do you have any specific thought about familiars and how they come to us?  Did your Wiccan or Craft Tradition teach something all together different in terms of familiars?  I would love to hear your thoughts on this, dear readers.  I am always looking to have my horizons expanded based upon the experiences of others.

Brightest Blessings, Friends!

Paganism 101: A Review

This week's blog is a wee bit different than my normal weekly writing.  This week, it is a book review for my friends at Moon Books.  Moon Books is a company we should all watch.  I have a couple of their books and they are jewels in a world of re-hashed Wicca 101 literature.

The newest publication is Paganism 101: An Introduction to Paganism by 101 Pagans.  Part One, Who We Are, explores Druidry, Wicca, Shamanism, Heathen, Goddess Worshiper, Christo-Pagan, Witch, and Eclectic Pagan with five essays on each topic.  Each of these essays gives a different perspective on how the author identifies his or her practice using the preferred label.  Graeme K. Talboys sums it up perfectly in his Druid essay, saying, "Ask ten Druids what it means to be Druid and you will get eleven answers. This is because it is personal." (p. 4 Paganism 101)  Each of the eight topics in part one work well to give a newcomer to paganism a well rounded perspective on some of the most common paths found in today's world.

Part Two, What We Believe, explores Deities, Nature, Ethics, the Afterlife, Ancestors, and the Past and Present of pagansim, with five essays on each by another round of authors.  The section on ethics runs the gamut in terms of how pagans may deem their actions right or wrong, mentioning various things like relativism, the Wiccan Rede and Law of Returns.  The essays on pagan afterlife are just as intriguing and thought provoking.

Part Three, What We Do, speaks on Ritual, Magic, Prayer and Meditation, Healing, Herbalism, and Celebrant Work within the broader pagan community.  The essays on ritual hit home with me.  As one who has come to a point where ritual is, mostly, unnecessary to achieve a spiritual mind-set, the advantages and disadvantages were discussed.  Not only that, it was also mentioned, in one essay, how sometimes certain elaborate rituals become 'sterile' energetically.  While I have experienced that personally with more elaborate rituals, it should be remembered that smaller group rituals can also be susceptible to the same thing for various reasons.

Having hit (some of) the high notes in this review (as I don't want to completely spoil it for those who are seeking), I believe this compilation of essays has something to offer everyone who is seeking a pagan path, even if one doesn't know exactly what it is just yet.  It explores the most popular paths within the pagan construct, how we see Deity, the afterlife, ritual and magic, among other topics.  All of the essays are well thought-out, beautifully written in their varying styles, and a pretty easy read for one who may not know much about these topics.  This book was a joy to read (even for this more experienced witch) and I do believe that Moon Books hit it out of the park with this one!!

Brightest Blessings, Friends!

Anger and the Pain it Causes

In its various guises, Anger has been on my mind a lot lately.  When I use the word 'anger', I should probably be more specific and say misdirected anger.  As with any word or action, anger can be a good thing and used to a good purpose, when directed appropriately.  That said, I haven't been angry but I have watched those around me succumb to their own anger.  Watching this process made me think.  It made me reflect upon my own anger, but more importantly, I began to reflect upon the anger projected on me by others, their reactions, and the lengths they would go to, to see me hurt in some physical or emotional way.  Even now, I search my memory for actions on my part that would have precipitated such an angry outburst from these people.

In late 2010 my life imploded slightly.  I found myself without a job and living with a friend.  I was completely freaked out by this.  My life had, mostly, been orderly with some sense of direction and I found myself with none.  My friend and I managed as best as we could to make this arrangement work.  We did well for about 3 months and then one Sunday, I found myself backed into a corner with her screaming at me about some strange overreaction she was having.  Honestly, I was kind of clueless about the accusations being thrown at me.  I was confused, to say the least.  When I told my friend she'd lost her mind (not in so many words, mind you), she and another friend of hers attacked me physically.  Now, I must add here, I don't like physical violence of any kind, but I had no choice other than defend myself.  When the fight was over, the three of us were in a pile on the floor.  I thought it was over.  It wasn't.  Once we untangled ourselves and I was told to leave (because I totally would have stayed with someone who liked to attack people physically), I tried to start packing my stuff.  My friend decided that it would be fun to tell her daughter that I 'beat her up,' so her daughter would come after me.  Thankfully, I talked the daughter out of a fight, called some friends for help, and left, leaving many things behind.

Over the next month, I lived with some more friends, doing my best to stay out of the way.  This time it was a friend and her husband.  When I moved in, my friend told me not to plan on staying very long because she was leaving her husband after the holidays (it was early December).  The holidays passed and my friend announced that she was moving out.  Her husband blamed me.  He tried to get physically violent with me and she and I left, seeing refuge with yet other friends who so graciously opened their home to us both.  Long story short, this time, he did not want to let me get all of my things.  He stole from me, pawned some expensive electronics of mine, and was a general pain in the ass.  When I was finally able to get my stuff (his landlord forced the issue, I believe), I had lost more stuff.

I can't say that I was ever angry at either of them for what they did to me.  I can't say that I am angry now, not even over the loss of most of my stuff.  In the months after these incidents, I watched these two people wallow in their anger.  They lost or gave up many of the things that they loved while living in that anger.  It was heart-breaking for me to see and hear what was happening in their lives (because some people found it necessary to tell me).  

I didn't understand what I did so wrong.  I didn't understand why I was driving the people around me crazy.  I didn't understand why they were projecting their own concepts and anger over them onto me.  I was worried that I was going to do the same thing to one of my current roommates and still not understand what was going on around me.  I consulted with my high priest about why these things happened and why their anger was so disproportionate to what I perceived actually happened. What he said to me baffled me and gave me hope that I could prevent this from happening in the future (if I could figure out what it meant and how to do it, of course).

He said that, sometimes, people's energy changes so much that, without their understanding (or consent!), their energy affects people and when that happens, those whose energy vibrates at a lower level become agitated just being in the presence of that particular person.  He told me that I must learn to mask my energy to keep this from happening over and over again.  He didn't tell me how to do this, but that is his way, to let me figure it out on my own.  

Even more importantly than learning to mask my own energy, I observed what kind of damage anger does.  I watched both of these people, neither of whom I have any ill will toward, fight with themselves on a roller coaster of emotion.  I could see which decisions appeared to be made in anger and which ones weren't.  I learned to be compassionate toward them.  I learned to love them instead of pity them.  I learned that, ultimately, we punish ourselves with our anger, not anyone else.

Now, more than ever, when someone gets angry at me, I do my best to step back and be an observer.  Did I do anything wrong?  Did I say something wrong?  Is it just my mere presence?  I do my best to not succumb to my own anger.  Sometimes I succeed, other times, not so much.  I suppose that one must ride his or her own roller coaster of emotion to the end when it comes to anger and how it affects us individually.

Brightest Blessings, Friends!

Pagan Blog Prompts: Matrons and Patrons

I love Pagan Blog Prompts!  If you can't think of something to write about, then you can always go there and they have some really good suggestions.  So, this week's topic is Matron and Patron deities and I figured that it was a good topic to discuss my often strange relationship with my own main deities.

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For a long time now, I have been a worshiper of Hekate and Ares.  They are my main deities on this pagan path I walk.  I have written about how they came to be in my life, so I don't think that it is important to re-hash those stories, but I do believe that it is important for me to discuss my relationship with them in the broader sense of my own practice.

There are those who believe that to have a Matron and Patron deity means one must worship them exclusively.  While I am sure that there are deities out there who refuse to let their adherents worship 'interloper' deities, mine have granted me a measure of latitude with this.  We have an understanding, of sorts, that I may work with deities who approach me, but if I am to approach another deity, then I must ask permission of Hekate and Ares first.

The first deity to take a shining to me was Artemis.  She comes to me as a young warrior maiden, 16-18 years old.  While she is quite serious and ready for battle, there is also a playful air about her.  She is quick to laugh and make a bit of silliness, but always on guard.  She often likes to hum or sing when she is experiencing joy, but that melodic voice turns to a growl when it is time for battle.

When the young maiden goddess approached me for the first time, it was with Hekate.  My Lady gave us both a warning, "You may cavort and even make war, but remember who you, dear Daughter, belong to."

Artemis laughed and bowed deeply to Hekate.  "She is yours, Lady, until such a time that you say she is no longer yours."  I, too, bowed and thanked Hekate for allowing me this particular experience.  It wasn't long after, that Athena began hanging around, too.

Since then, she has come into and out of my life.  The sacred weaver was not brought to me by Hekate, but came alone and with her blessing.  The goddess Brid also hangs around in her Maiden form.  She approached me a couple of years ago during a Moon Lodge, where I was gifted Her flame and some water from Her well.

Brid often reminds me of my roots.  She reminds me that no matter how many generations removed I am from the Isles, there is a part of me that always has a home there.

After Brid, comes the Dark Goddesses, the Morrigan, Kali, and Hel.  I 'rode the road to Hel' and back when I was but a wee, baby pagan via a journey I took.  She was the first of the Dark Goddesses I worked with, and she has stuck around all of these years, in the background of my worship, not really asking anything of me, but not giving me anything either.  I believe that I may be a curiosity to Her, one worth watching.  Either that, or I am like a train wreck and she simply can not look away.

Kali is in my life much in the same way Hel is.  She stands in the background, watching.  I am quite sure that if she were to be unleashed in my life, it would be traumatic, yet the best for me.

The Morrigan, however, has an interesting tale in my goddess journey.  As Dark Goddesses go, she has taken a liking to me.  Hekate gave me the same warning with the Morrigan as she did with Artemis and I have always respected that boundary.  However, I think, sometimes, the Morrigan pushes it.  She comes through to me as strongly as Hekate some days, poking me with her staff, giving me messages, and giving me warnings.  Hekate is there, usually silent, waiting in the background.  She gives me a nod and a wicked smile, as though the two are working together.

The Gods in my life have been less transient and strong.  Cernunnos appears at certain times and, often bids me to find wild spaces.  Ares smiles and gets a particular light in his eyes.  The two of them seem to push me to recharge when I simply forget to do so.

I feel fortunate that my spiritual life is so rich with the wisdom of the Otherworlds.  The gods often remind me that I am not super-human and that my trials and triumphs are what make this life and they are integral to my growth.


Brightest blessings, Friends!

Therianthropy and Otherkin-ness

It seems that the cultural new year is going to have me blogging about some deeply personal topics, potentially.  Dearest readers, if you do not want to hear about these things, please feel free to email me and say so.  If you want to read more of these kinds of things, also, let me know. :)  As always, I do enjoy hearing from my readers.  Now, on to our story!!

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When I was but a wee, baby pagan many moons ago, I was introduced to the terms 'therianthrope' and 'therianthropy' through a group of people on a message board.  Most of these people were shamanists of one ilk or another.  One of these ladies was a dear, dear friend of mine, and though we do not talk much any more, is someone whom I still hold in very high regard.  For those who have not ever heard these terms, therianthropy is the recognition that ones soul is bestial or non-human, and is also known as Otherkin.  I have known those who identified as snow leopard, honey badger, dragon, angel, and elf, among many others.  At the time, my consciousness had not expanded enough to fully grasp what this meant to the individual, despite the fact that I simply accepted it as another part of who these people were.

As I have grown into my teen years as a pagan, I have come across those (more sparingly now, though) who own the label of Otherkin.  They freely speak of their clans, tribes, or packs, their history and, even, their species as though it is the most normal and rational of things. (Because we all know that 'normal' and 'rational' are words that totally describe the pagan experience of the world!) I discuss these things with these people secretly jealous that they simply accept these parts of themselves.  I am also surprised and secretly jealous that these people know so much of their own past life or multi-universal history.

For the past year or so, I have been struggling to accept my own Otherkin-ness.  It makes perfect sense to me that ones eternal essence would identify with some past life or some other life within the multiverse, human or not.  Unfortunately for me, that rational part of my brain (there's that damn word again) laughs hysterically and breaks when I am faced with what I know.  Not once, through the years have I looked at my Otherkin friends and deemed them crazy.  Not once!  Yet, I look at myself and wonder just, exactly, how I'm not crazy for thinking the same way.  (There's not a bit of hypocrisy in that statement...)

Then, begins my internal dialogue. (Because talking to yourself isn't crazy either...)  I remind myself that the Oracle at Delphi says, "Know Thyself" and to do that, I must explore all of myself, past, present, and future.  Then I whine about wanting to be 'normal' and that is followed by chastising myself that I don't want to be like my family.  It's this cycle of excuses and hacking through those excuses and it has been for some time now, but ultimately, I come back to center.  I come back to this place where I am at a stalemate with myself and I let the topic sit for a while.

So, how does one, like myself, who blends in and does the 'normal' thing so well, come to terms with the realization that she is Other?  Well, I'm not sure, but I do know this: Having come to walk a more shamanic path is going to put me nose-to-nose with this particular reality.  It already has in very subtle ways.

A week ago, I journeyed to the Glastig.  She reminded me of my Otherkin-ness and she reminded me of some things, acknowledged that I am now a creature of fire.  So, now, it is time for me to move into the element of Dark Water and begin accepting these things about myself.  I'm still not sure how it is going to play out for me and I am still not sure how I'm going to reconcile it in my mind, but I do know that I will manage.

So, if you are one of an unfortunate few out there who, like me, struggle with spiritual aspects of yourself, remember that you aren't the only one.  If you have been presented with 'crazy' or outlandish images of yourself that simply can't be 'true', remember: Our True Self is much different than the masks we wear.  It is much more than these mortal bones.  The True Self is eternal and sees what our mortal brains refuse to acknowledge.  You aren't crazy.  Your consciousness is expanding and with that expansion, the Ego becomes diminished.  It's the Ego, in a panic, that whispers those doubtful thoughts.  It is the Ego, not wanting to let go that cries out about rationality.

With this new year, I am going to strive to accept these things about myself.  Why can't I simply be?  Why, Ego, do you blaspheme me and try to convince me that I am smaller than I truly am?

Brightest blessings, Friends, and Happy New Year!