Thursday, June 28, 2012

Witch, Heal Thyself!

I want to preface this by saying, just like all of my other posts this is my opinion and my perception.  Because of our unique views on life, healing, and the Craft, there may not be another person out there who experiences these exact things in this exact way.  It doesn't make me any more right or wrong than another, just as it doesn't make me more knowledgeable or wise.  These are simply my own ideas on one tiny topic that I have experienced for a short amount of time.

In March I was attuned Reiki 1 by my High Priestess and beloved friend, Mandy.  For half a decade or more, I'd longed for attunement, seeing the need for healing in the world.  I understood, even before I was given this blessing, that energy work of any kind isn't a cure-all.  I also understood that true healing only happens when one is ready to heal. (Healing being used in a general sense here encompassing physical, mental, spiritual and emotional.) For years I'd lamented my bad luck in not quite ever having the money for an attunement.  I'd met and spoke with Reiki Masters, but none of them quite fit.  I knew that it wasn't theywho didn't fit me, but the other way around.  Until this year, though, I didn't know why.

It wasn't until this year that I started going back through the years and really remembering my own spiritual journey.  I've always heard that this is a path of healing, but I didn't quite understand what that meant.  I didn't understand that being whole isn't just about being in good physical health or taking your medication as prescribed.  I didn't really understand that it also meant having to face ones own darkness.  That shed the proverbial light on some things for me.

When things started clicking into place in my mind, all of the growth I'd been experiencing (and not realizing!!) began to make sense.  I had moments where things fell into place and I could feel soul parts reintegrate.  I had other moments where the workings of the whole universe were crystal clear, and I had yet other moments where I felt crazy and lost, as though I were standing still and banging my head against the wall.  These moments were life changing.  My perceptions changed and so my need to hang on to the old changed with it.

And so, late spring brought my long awaited attunement.  An attunement I was not ready for until that precise moment.  (Isn't that when everything happens, when we are ready for it?) I felt the beauty of the reiki energy as my partner, Ivy, practiced on me.  Her hands grew warm, my ailments did, too.  I felt a great sense of well being.  When we changed places, I experienced something totally different!  I knew, more than felt, the energy.  My hands did not warm uncomfortably, though Ivy's ailments responded with that familiar warmth.  I felt... different.  

For a week after my attunement, I struggled.  I struggled with this strange new perception of the world.  I struggled with being so open to the universe.  I was, honestly, crazy as a sack of asses.  Well, at least I thought I was.  Some things in my life ended up coming full circle at that point and it was then that the thought began to occur to me that maybe I wasn't so different as I once believed.  (Even though I still tend to be the weird one among the weird ones.)

Since then, I have settled in to a reasonably comfortable place with my reiki, as I am still getting to know the energy and I am still figuring out how best I work with it.  However, I have discovered that I don't experience reiki in a typical way.

Only on occasion do my hands heat up in the way they 'should'.  Rarer still does my whole body heat up, as I was warned could happen when I was getting my attunement.  Sometimes I physically feel the energy flowing through me, but more often, I experience it as a knowing.  I simply know that the energy is flowing and I simply know when it has peaked and I am ready to go to another hand position.

Even more astounding (at least I think so), is my searching out of the body's ley lines or energy channels, something I just recently realized that I do.  I'm not sure how to term these... areas.  I haven't done much research on this, aside from little more than basic chakra work.  My hands seem to search out the places in the body where the energy flows most freely to the  ailing area and sometimes it involves touching the area in question, but other times, it does not.  It's quite strange to me.

This knowing challenges every part of my logical self.  It slaps my logic brains in the face 3 Stooges style.  It makes absolutely no sense to me how it could possibly work, but it does.  It just works and, ironically, I don't have to know why.  It is just one of the mysteries of the universe.

This year I have dipped the tip of my little toe into the pool of the healing arts.  I have experienced Reiki and Celtic Healing, both being given to me by some of the most precious and important people in my life right now.  I have experienced my own perceptions and expectations being tossed unceremoniously out of the window in favor of highly illogical and unexplained knowings.  Yet, I don't rush to explain these things.  I don't dismiss them as impossible.  I don't doubt that they are actually happening.  I accept them for what they are: Something more than me, the humble vessel.

I look forward to many more years of learning within the healing arts, learning to simply accept some things as unexplainable, and most importantly being able to be of service to the community.

Brightest blessings my friends!!

(ETA: The HTML when screwy with this one, so if it's weird or the formatting is screwed, I missed fixing something in the code...)

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