Friday, July 13, 2012

When times get tough, whaddya do?

So many people I know are having a difficult time at the moment.  For some it's difficult emotionally, for others, it's difficult financially, and for people like me, there's just this feeling of being lost.  I'm not going to do anything silly, like rip my still-beating heart from my chest and thrust it into your face, dear readers, but please feel free to follow me along on this confusing, shadowy path into my own psyche. (Quite appropriate for Friday the 13th, no?)  I often write about topics relevant to me and those around me, but I have yet to really write about anything personal.  So, here it is.

I am one of the many Americans who can not find a job in this economy.  Every day I sit at my computer and I apply for jobs.  Most places now want you to apply online, so that's what I do.  I scan the paper and mail out my resume in the hope of finding a job.  I have been doing this since May and  I apply for somewhere between five and twenty jobs a week and from those applications, I have been granted one interview.  That said, there are two things I know about myself: A) I have an excellent resume, and B) I am employable in a variety of jobs.

However, let's add another thing to the list of 'Things Going Against the Writer'.  Six weeks ago, I chipped my anklebone, and I am wearing a walking cast, or boot.  Even if I got an interview tomorrow, wearing this boot is going to put a big, red X by my name for most employers, no matter how good my resume looks or how good I interview.  Who wants to hire someone when they can clearly see that the person is very likely going to have to miss work to go to doctor appointments (at least in the beginning)?

Do I sound like I'm lamenting my bad luck yet?  Really, I'm not.  Yes, the boot is like wearing a fleece pillow around my leg.  We had days and days and days of 100F+ (40C+) temperatures, and there was no escaping the misery of the heat.  Most of those days I would have rather taken a beating than had to go outside when the sun was up.  But, I digress.

I look at all of these things which are going against me, and I wonder, "Just exactly what have my Gods got in store for me that could possibly include poverty, solitude, confusion, and this bone-deep restlessness?  What lesson is in this forced downtime?  Why am I being forced to choose between essential items such as laundry detergent and fuel?"

But, then, I smile.  I smile because I know that they do have a plan.  I smile because I'm not starving to death.  I smile because the right job is going to come along at just the right moment.  Despite the uncertainty, which I desperately hate, I'm getting to do something that I haven't gotten to do since I was in high school.  I'm getting to enjoy the summer.  While I'm certainly not going anywhere or spending any money, I get up every morning, no later than about 8am, and I get to sit on my porch that faces the West.  I get to watch the Hummingbirds chitter, buzz, and fuss at each other over the feeder.  I get to watch the ants busy themselves with their mid-summer gathering.  I see the butterflies flittering from bloom to scarce bloom, gathering nectar.  These are things I wouldn't get to do as I sip coffee if I had to be somewhere.

This summer I've been visited by a couple of garden snakes, been attacked by a butterfly, and went on a fantastic nature hike/flower gathering expedition.  Obviously, the hike was before the ankle thing, but still.  Had I been working, these things wouldn't have happened.  This slowing down and (almost) forced return to writing has been what my soul needed.  My pocketbook is still crying, but there are so many more enriching things in my life.  I have met people whom I wouldn't have if I were working.  I have had such a bounty of experience.

So, if you are like me, and you find yourself with lots of time on your hands and things not going your way, don't be so quick to judge your life negatively.  Don't be so quick to judge yourself negatively.  Don't give in to your fears.  Instead, ask yourself what the universe is trying to tell you.  Ask yourself if you need to cast off stress and worry, even for a day, and just be.  We all need a break sometimes and if we don't take it, the Gods find a way to force it upon us.  If we don't accept that break, we end up wasting it worrying and fussing instead of looking for the wealth of experience it allows (even if we still hate breaks).

So, I'll stay diligent and keep looking for work.  In the mean time, though, I'll fill my days with the experiences my Gods offer me.  I'm fairly certain that one day I'll look back on this time and see the lessons contained within.

Brightest Blessings friends!!


  1. keep your chin up and know that the right job for you is out there and will end up being dropped into your lap at the proper time. There are lessons that you are supposed to be learning at this time but you have already figured that out ;) Keep positive, keep observing nature around you, enjoy this time the Gods have a plan for you. I am speaking from experience. The best thing to do is put a smile on your face and be thankful for everything around you. I hope you find a job quickly. Blessings always.

    1. You know, smiling, listening, and writing is really all I can do. There are certain opportunities which are presenting themselves to me every day. I may not be able to make money from them, but they are opportunities to help and be of service to my community, so I figure that I may as well take them. I can not imagine how miserable I would be if I chose to lament my bad luck and not focus on all of the good (which is something I would have done a year or so ago). :) It's amazing how just a year makes a difference.